It’s All Just Noise To Me

Sam was born in the heart of Wales on a working sheep farm to a family of highly skilled sheep herders, his parents and older brother worked the farm while he and his siblings watched intently from the pen.

He moved to Dorset at an early age and has dedicated his entire life to the study of noisemakers.

The results of his studies are widely recognized and he has a small following in Australia, New Zealand, Yorkshire and Southern England.

Sam enjoys accompanying noisemakers on regular walks over the Dorset heath land, through the local woodlands, and on the occasional visit to the beach, he has built up an extensive network of like-minded friends with whom he regularly spends quality time, he enjoys local fame from noisemakers and contemporaries alike.

Sam was a highly trained athlete in his youth and spent many of his formative years herding tennis balls to a whistle, tracking objects over 5 kilometres, playing games with children and of course ball chasing.

His speciality is behaviour and obedience and regularly wins rewards for his efforts.

A word from the author

Almost nine years ago I first met Guinness.

Guinness is a beautiful long-haired grey deer-hound, he is now 14 years old and unfortunately due to his age is not in the best of health, we see each other as often as our lives allow but I have noticed recently just how poorly he is.

That doesn’t stop me from stealing his bed now and then though!

Guinness is my inspiration for writing this. He looked after me and mentored me in my youth and I in turn helped him make the transition from a homeless noisemaker companion to integrating into a wonderful noisemaker family with whom he has shared his adult life and who now care for him with love and dedication in his time of need.

When I first met Guinness I don’t mind admitting to you, he scared me. I am NOT tall, well-built OR tough.

He however…………….is all three.

He spent most of his life with a homeless noisemaker, they had been through some hard times, but he is a tough cookie, he is street wise and well used to standing up for himself, he was aggressive but not dangerous and you definitely knew where you stood with him,

We all respected that…

The problem he faced when his homeless noisemaker couldn’t provide for him anymore was the transition from the street, to a loving home. He had trust issues, had no idea how to allow a noisemaker to care for him and he really had no idea how to live a domestic life.

I learned street smarts from him and in turn he learned valuable life skills from me, we have had great times together and will be sharing stories with you over the coming months.

This is my autoblogography, my life story, full of (tails) ha ha, sorry, full of “tales” some funny, some hysterical, some sad and some tragic, all entertaining and all true

so here goes.

Thanks Guinny I love you.



“What”, you may ask “is a noisemaker?”

The answer is easy.


Not having a spoken language in my world, when you speak it’s all just noise to me.

The Pack

I live with four noisemakers, and we have a lovely big den.

There are many other dens in our territory, mostly only full of other noisemakers, but some also have

CAT !!!

I am proud to say that there are no CAT !!! on our territory and in a future post I’ll tell you how I keep them away.

Back to my noisemakers, my pack.

Our alpha.


Due to the fact that he makes a “Hey” noise when he wants my attention. See how I did that?

He is one of the biggest noisemakers I have ever seen and can be a bit scary.

I really love “Hey” and we have spent tons of time together over the years, he isn’t around as much as he was when I was younger, I expect he is hunting or marking his territory and keeping other noisemaker packs under control for us, he leaves me in charge when he is away and I look after everything for him, he hardly ever lets me know he likes me, i do get a stroke every now and then, and I have to be careful to do exactly what he wants me to do, but deep down I know he loves me and would do anything for me.

We have a good relationship.

“Hey’s” partner is


This is her standard greeting noise along with a chin rub and a face stroke, I love HelloSammySue to bits, she is the one that lets me cuddle on the sitting log, the sitting log smells like cow, I think Hey must have hunted one and made a seat with it before I joined the pack,


Sneaking forty winks on the sitting log while Hey is away hunting

Sneaking forty winks on the sitting log while Hey is away hunting


HelloSammySue is also the noisemaker that provides most of my food from the tall silver hunting grounds, she is a great hunter, she opens the tall silver hunting grounds and never fails to catch meat for me. Hey is an amazing hunter, he sometimes returns to the den with so much meat he puts it in the tall silver hunting rounds for HelloSammySue to catch when I’m hungry.

“Hey” has two main noises he uses when communicating with “Hellosammysue” one is


and the other is


When he makes this second noise to her he usually ends up making the “sorry” noise and moves around the house picking up smelly material things he had on his feet and putting them into a big basket kept halfway up the steps to the forbidden high zone.

Regarding the two little noisemakers, I don’t have a name for the bigger one being that he has never made any noise in my direction, let’s call him


These are the 4 noises he mostly makes, I don’t see him very often as he lives in the dark place deep in the forbidden high zone, Hey and HelloSammySue do try to communicate with him but he makes different noises to them and they don’t seem to understand each other, I think he is a member of a rival pack called


It won’t be long before Hey banishes him from the den.

The little female noisemaker is my second favourite after “Hey” and her noise name is


I have a feeling she could make “Hey” do anything she wanted him to but so far I haven’t worked out how she does it, I think it is something to do with small girl noisemakers and their fathers.

MarkPartyTop-6  Sam.

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