Ode To An Unhealthy Antelope, With Geographical Inconsistencies.

 

I should have bought a zippo

.

I happened one night upon an antelope

Trying in vain to light his smoke

You see the wind blew hard from the east that night

And his matches just wouldn’t stay alight

.

Long enough to create an ember

Pipes are notoriously finicky I now remember

Obviously

He thought

I need help with this and ought

To ask the lion, which I think is risky

Considering the king of the jungle’s history

.

So he wandered over to where the pride

Were gathered trying to decide

How to keep the cubs away from the fjord

As they were prone to venture, when bored

Far too close to the icy water

Playfully chasing the local sea otter

.

He asked politely starting to sweat

Nervously trying to forget

Exactly who he was speaking to

These cats were wild and not in a zoo

.

“Excuse me please do you have a light?

I’m having a little bother tonight”

.

They looked…..

Perplexed….

At the young deer

Who had bravely sauntered over here

To ask for a light so he could smoke

Is this some kind of antelope joke?

.

The king looked bemused and wandered over

Careful not to fall off the white cliffs of Dover

“Hullo” he said “my name is Steven”

“I’m surprised to see you haven’t been eaten,

“It’s a light you want, oh I see,

well, come on over here follow me”

He said these words with a sideways glance

To his wives who seized upon the chance

To ask the antelope for a fag

You see shopping for cigarettes in Norway is such a drag

.

He agreed and shared his tobacco around,

The whole pride rolled up and he soon found

There really was no need to be scared

Although we’ll see in the morning just how he fared

.

After passing the night smoking and reminiscing

At dawns first light we notice he is missing……..

And so to the moral of our sad apologue

If you really need a light

Don’t ask a lion

Ask a dog.

 Sam

( I would like to add that the word “FAG” is slang here in the UK and means “CIGARETTE”